Thursday, March 24, 2005

The Whangape Colossus!

I'm hoping to check it out on Saturday or Sunday.

The smelliest sneakers in America, etc

We've just dumped Internet Explorer for Netscape, in an effort to give some sort of virus the slip (this computer stuff goes right over my head), and are taking full advantage of the latter's awesome pop-up news service.

Here's today's Netscape News headliner: Vermont Boy's Sneakers Named Smelliest In America.

And who says Americans are ill-informed?

Arguing about Venezuela

I helped put together this account of events in Venezuela for the bulletin of the International Woman's Day Committee. It's meant as basic educational prop for Kiwis who have been starved of news about the country.
If you're wondering whether we need to know about events in Venezuela, have a look at some of the comments this article at Spanblather has occasioned.

Ed Rooksby has written this much more ambitious, much more theoretical account of the Venezuelan revolution (scroll down to Tuesday, March 15 to find it) - unfortunately, I disagree with him. Aren't comments boxes wonderful?

Monday, March 21, 2005


Pretty heavy scene on Queen St the other day - I've posted a report here, there are some photos of the action here, and there are details of the follow-up here.

Friday, March 18, 2005

St Patrick's Day Humour

Q: Why did the Irishman keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge?

A: In case anyone wanted black coffee.

This is offered by Lenin's Tomb as an example of 'proddie anti-Irish humour'.

Typical of proddies to mistake surreal genius for stupidity!

Off all the Beatles' songs he picks 'Hey Jude'...

Let him have it I say...

Gigantic Conspiracy

(New facts and information)



The biggest shocking news on Earth----------------------------------

(Full Story) Dear Sir or Madam:

We are sending you an e-mail made of different parts sent through time. We are sending you all this so that you might have a clear panoramic view of the situation.We would appreciate any help and support you can give.

Also, should you want to download the adaptation of Hey Jude by J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e, click on the following link: and download the MP3.You can also look on the Internet for other pages where you can download J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's Hey Jude. It will be a free download for some days, specially for you.After, remember to visit J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's main website for more music, etc., etc. Look on the Internet for his website.If you enjoyed the song, please give a couple of coins (or a million if you're rich) to the first needy person you find on the street, as a contribution to Life. The adaptation of Hey Jude by F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e was not made for money but for the sake of art....please give the money to the poor......Also, if you enjoyed the song, please tell your friends to visit this page so that they can also download the song.And don't forget to also search the Internet for J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e.Respectful Thanks.

THE NEWS MEDIA.-------------------------------

1st. part-----------------------------

(email received by our Editor)S.O.S.TO THE EDITOR Dear Editor:My name is J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e. I am a musician. I am writing to inform you of a long history of efforts to block my musical career and take my ideas. It has now gone beyond the pale.Some time ago, while I was living in England, I had been piano tuner to the ex-Beatle George Harrison several times. After five years in England I eventually went back to where I'd originally come from. There I made my own adaptation of the Beatles' "Hey Jude". I took the original song and re-worked it into a latin "Bachata", mixed with flamenco.

I made a demonstration cassette of it and sent it to George Harrison. It came back to me stamped with a rude "by bike" in the place of the usual "Air mail" on the envelope. I phoned him to ask for an explanation but was told by his secretary that he did not want to come to the phone.Mr. Raul Cairo of the Dutch "Music and Media" magazine can testify to the quality of my arrangement of "Hey Jude", as he wrote an article about it in the same magazine.I tried sending demonstration cassettes of my version of "Hey Jude" to three record companies in Spain, and, some months later, a group called "Los Roling" came out with a flamenco rendition of Beatles music. Significantly, it was at the same time that Raul Cairo was writing up my "Hey Jude" in "Music and Media".After a Finnish promotional firm requested 28 CDs of the song for broadcasting on their radio chain throughout Europe the song began to get airplay.

I was told by the firm that they were getting phone-in requests for the song at the stations and that it was being given a nice reception by radio listeners. Some ten days later the song disappeared off the air as though an invisible hand had stopped it. The Finnish promotional firm did not care to provide any explanation when I phoned up about it.Time went by and I made a "salsa" version of the Beatles' song "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". This time I sent demonstration cassettes to record companies outside Europe, including in New York. Some months later, a well-known latin entertainer got a salsa band together with performers from "Fania All Stars" among others, and released an L.P. of salsa-style Beatles music in New York.Time went by again, and it occurred to me that perhaps I could help get the Beatles back together again as a Beatles' music specialist myself and a professional musician in my own right.

I faxed a proposal to that effect to George Harrison, one which he never answered. I did fax him several times again afterwards trying to set out my ideas about the Beatles revival venture, only to discover at one point that he had had his fax number changed. The international operator told me she couldn't give me the new number, as it was unlisted. About six months after the fax incident the first "Beatles Anthology" CD came out, after many, many years without a Beatles release. My idea. He took it and went ahead without me.Now I am back in England.I came back with 14 songs that I'd put together under the title "Shangri-La", hoping to get a record deal for it. Both "Hey Jude" and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" were included in my production. There were also two other well-known songs in my own adapted version.

The rest, the other ten songs, were all my own original compositions.Even though I am a Rock musician, "Shangri-La" is a multi-styled production.I took demonstration cassettes of "Shangri-La" to the ten major record companies in London. All ten were somehow mysteriously "mislaid". Representatives of the A&R departments concerned refused even to come to the phone to give me an explanation, delegating other people to take the call instead and tell me that they were still having trouble locating the cassette. All ten cassettes??...Isn't that a bit much to be a coincidence??...One of the other two items I'd re-worked for "Shangri-La" was "If I Had A Hammer". The rhythm and arrangements were all distinctly different in my version from the original song. One day, after having delivered my cassettes to the main record companies, I switched on the television, only to see the launch of a new programme featuring Trini Lopez's original "If I Had A Hammer" as the theme song...

That was after my version of the long-forgotten song had been heard by the record companies.Again, after my cassettes had gone out to the record companies, a big night club that was owned by people who had links with the record industry started running a show they called "Shangri-La". They stole the name from my production. I ended up having to hire solicitors to get them to stop using the name, as I had already had it registered for musical purposes.During that same period I received dozens of nuisance calls on my mobile phone from people mocking me with taunts like: "Don't you have a record deal ?", or "Go find another country", or "I'm not hearing your songs on the radio"...Realizing that there must be a conspiracy against me I had promotional CDs pressed of "Hey Jude" and distributed them to 84 radio stations around England. After a couple weeks I had letters back from radio stations saying they couldn't play "Hey Jude" on their programmes, although some of the selfsame directors went on to praise my arrangement of the song. Capital Radio described it as "a very interesting arrangement". The BBC World Service went on to call it "a very original and quite virtuoso arrangement".

From Sony Music I read: "..I was really impressed with the quality of the performance and your new arrangement". If the song was good enough to generate such comments, why wouldn't they play it ? ? ?After the radio set-back I sent a CD of my adapted version of "Hey Jude" to Paul McCartney at his office, asking if he could give me a hand by contacting some of the radio station directors. A week later I followed up by phoning his office, only to be met with one of the secretaries, who in a rude and aggressive manner dismissed me with,: "We've put your CD of "Hey Jude" in a cold cellar...".

Why such a violent reaction ? ?...So I wrote to Paul McCartney. I even made 16 copies of my letters and mailed them separately to be sure that one of them at least got through to him at his home. Yet I never had a reply.Interestingly enough, just at that time I started to hear massive outpourings of the Beatles' "Hey Jude" on the radio,and Paul McCartney himself suddenly began performing live again at the "Cavern" in Liverpool after years of inactivity.It was during those same months that I was getting threatening, anonymous phone calls on my mobile, warning me against giving live performances or playing anywhere. The calls were always made from public telephones.One music agent whom I'd contacted in an effort to find myself a manager, apologized, saying: "I'm sorry, but I cannot use you...".

He refused to say why and hung up on me.That was when I realized what a huge operation I was up against. So huge, in fact, that in the three and a half years I have been in England this second stay I have as yet to give my first live concert or perform anywhere, despite having contacted more than 20 music agents.Five months after my "Hey Jude" was blocked on British radio stations the latest Beatles' CD came out. This was the second time that my adaptation of "Hey Jude" had caused a Beatles' Anthology to appear..It seems some people regard my "Hey Jude" as a threat...

And as another "coincidence", the e-mail address that Paul McCartney offered for fans to write to him is called heyjude18 (at) I said before, after my Hey Jude got blocked on British radio, Paul McCartney rushed in with concerts at the "Cavern" in Liverpool and launched this second Beatles Anthology CD. Nevertheless, when he saw that the concerts only gathered a very small audience and that the CD did not sell as expected, now he pushed for a CD to come out of his work with his group "Wings"...all this with no let-up, one thing after another, like he was trying to gain time for something, wanting to be constantly present in people's minds for some reason....

It is with sadness that I realize that possibly some people could be very afraid of my Hey Jude.... Most recently, one of my piano tuning customers, who is involved with the British music industry, said an aggressive letter had been forged in my name and sent out to different branches of the above mentioned music industry and to other parts of the music world. This was further confirmed by a DJ friend of mine in British radio...What vile extremes will some people not resort to in their attempt to alienate others from me???...Also, as another "coincidence", one of the ten major record companies in London that stole my "Shangri-la" cassettes, has just launched a CD of one of their bands (namely, the Stone Temple Pilots), being the band's CD title exactly the same as my own, with the addition of a couple of words to make the title a comical phrase !!! .....

They've launched it through one of their branches in another part of the world.....I suspect this is a subtle trap by this record firm expecting me to react to their action to implicate me with that part of the world.....I will not fall into that trap.....Now they are trying to block me in other parts of the world as looks like some people consider my work something very dangerous, judging by the amount of conspiracy they are generating......once again, it is amazing to see the vile maneuvers of some people......What I have said so far is just the tip of the iceberg. Depending on how things go, the full iceberg may yet come to light in all its magnitude. I don't want to blame anybody but I feel my story has to be told.I come looking to all music lovers to help me fight this horrible multi-tentacled monster that has kept me and my work out of the public eye and stolen my ideas.It is because of this conspiracy against me that I have had to find shelter on the Internet. Me and my work can only be found at my website. Look on the Internet for the name of J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's website. I invite you all to it.

Yours sincerely:J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e.

(end of the email received by our Editor)

-----------------------------2nd. part-----------------------------

IN BRIEF========J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e, the music genius that The Beatles and their record firm blocked during 13 long years, in a gigantic plot which involved different sectors of the music industry...----------------------------

3rd. part----------------------------

ADDENDUM========The adaptation of Hey Jude by J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e has been granted a PUBLISHING AGREEMENT by the copyright owners. Due to this fact, the people involved, not being able to stop it legally, use all kind of vile and subreptitious and illegal manoeuvres to do it......The only reason for this (and we must humbly say it because enough is enough) is that the adaptation of Hey Jude by F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e makes the original song look like an absolute nothing....They try to hide the sun with a finger......It is possible to hide things from all the people part of the time and it is possible to hide things from part of the people all the time, but it's impossible to hide things from all of the people all of the time.. ..and what was done in the night, shows in daylight......And the clear evidence showing that all these facts are true is that the transcendental masterpiece made by F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e is not known by the public, having F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's adaptation of Hey Jude a publishing agreement by the copyright owners and all.....

---------------------------------4th. Part---------------------------

...And not only they blocked the adaptation of Hey Jude by J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e.....but they also blocked his own compositions, our dear friend and reader..... Hey Jude is one among nine songs on the "Shangri-La" CD....the other eight are F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's own compositions....they blocked those eight songs as well......---------------------------5th. Part---------------------------

BREAKING NEWS=============And now, after the people involved and their big international firm had used the pulling of strings and the traffic of influences with the newspapers so that they wouldn't publish this article, they are also trying to pretend in front of people as a big masquerade that Paul McCartney still owns the copyright for Hey Jude, when in fact he sold the rights of the Beatles' songs to three different international entities. Of these three international entities, F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e was granted a PUBLISHING AGREEMENT for his adaptation of Hey Jude by the owners of the copyright of the song. (AVAILABLE ON DEMAND)We hope you understand that he has a Publishing Agreement for his Hey Jude....we repeat.....We hope you understand that he has a Publishing Agreement for his Hey Jude....we repeat.....We hope you understand that he has a Publishing Agreement for his Hey Jude....

Did you understand?...Did you?....Due to the fact that Paul Mc Cartney thinks that people are stupid and that he can twist the facts in front of audiences and that people will never know what things are like in real life, they are still lying to audiences and making them think that the bass player owns the song and this and the other, when in fact THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN LEGALLY DO TO STOP THE ADAPTATION BY F/E/R/R/A/N/T/E, other than the pulling of strings in newspapers and the traffic of influences here and there, all of which is done ILLEGALLY, SUBREPTITIOUSLY, AND VERY HIDDEN AND SUBTERRANEAN.....All this because the copyrights ARE NO LONGER THE BASS PLAYER'S....we repeat.....NO LONGER HIS......Once again, the ONLY REASON for this is that the adaptation of Hey Jude by F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e makes the original song look like an absolute nothing...... ...they know VERY WELL that an elementary song had been upgraded to a MASTERPIECE......they fear the takes their sleep away....................And the stature of the man is determined by the amount of conspiracy he generates......---------------------------------------------------------------------

IN ADDITION J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e is one of the greatest musicians ever existed, whose supernatural musical powers made the established musicians and the music industry forge the biggest international plot ever, to stop him.We are talking of a music encyclopedia that knows and plays almost every existing song. We are talking of a music monster whose supernatural perception of sound can play a song just by listening to it for the first time. A supernatural talent who can create the most amazing improvisations out of the blue. It is due to this supernatural perception of sound that he became a piano tuner to London Symphony Orchestra and to the Royal Albert Hall, sometimes back. Concerning his craftsmanship as a piano tuner and technician, Mr. Nigel Hill, manager of the piano department of Chappell of London says of him in a reference letter: "He has been a great contribution to Chappell of Bond Street in the pianoforte field"... ---------------------------------------------------------------------

EVEN MORE However, being one of the greatest musicians ever existed is just the beginning of J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e...the very beginning...J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e is a graduated architect, a graduated doctor, a graduated psychologist, a nearly graduated biologist, an astronomer, a web designer, a philosopher, a writer, a painter, a master in all religions, a master in all occult sciences, a magician, an astrologer, a yoga teacher, a piano tuner and technician, a music teacher, a martial artist, a weightlifting trainer, a graduated actor, an acupuncturist, a chess teacher, a homeopater, a professional level photographer, a four languages speaking man...J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e holds a 185 I.Q.He spends 27 hours a day with a book in his hands, EVERY DAY of his life.

J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e is one of the greatest geniuses of our days.---------------------------------------------------------------------AND MORE Did you know that J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e caused all this Latin thing that is going on with his Hey Jude? As we told you before, after his adaptation of Hey Jude was sent to Spain, a group of very bad musicians called "los rolin" came out in Spain attempting to do the Beatles' music in Latin flamenco style, the same style as F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's Hey Jude, but all they did was music crap, due to the bad quality of the musicians. They stole J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's intellectual property but did it very poorly, compared to the transcendental masterpiece made by the music genius.After this, when the "Sgt. Pepper's lonely hearts club band" salsa adaptation of J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e was sent to the record firms in New York, a Latin intellectual property thief entertainer called Ralph Mercado reunited musicians from different orchestras and attempted to do a very poor salsa interpretation of the Beatles' music. Among the people that participated were Latin intellectual property thieves from "Fania All Stars" like Celia Cruz and Tito Puentes. Another Latin called Oscar de Leon participated in the intellectual property theft. Unfortunately all they did was music crap due to the fact of being very poor musicians, but good thieves...Latin entertainer Ralph Mercado did such a shameless theft that he even made a parody of the sleeve of the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's" and used it as sleeve of his theft production, having been "Sgt. Pepper's lonely hearts club band" the F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's salsa adaptation sent to New York...After J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e opened the door for this Latin style thing with his two adaptations, the record firm that designed his blocking (the Beatles' firm) and that also got the Latin section of the biggest firm on Earth involved (no names, just the Latin section), (it is just amazing to see the amount of MULTI MILLIONS that these two firms have invested in blocking the man) carried on with the intellectual property theft producing Latin music crap such as Ricky Martin, Shakira, Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, etc., etc. These two firms got other firms involved in the blocking of J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e later on. All this Latin thing happening was caused and triggered by J/o/s/e/p/h F/e/r/r/a/n/t/e's two Latin adaptations. And do not consider the man as Latin. He just happens to be one of the best musicians on Earth in almost every existing style. The man is a MUSIC ENCYCLOPEDIA, as we told you earlier on...---------------------------------

P.S.-------------------------------We expect your cooperation against this NAZI FACT and against the MOST VILE AND CRUEL THING DONE TO A HUMAN BEING IN THE WHOLE STORY OF MANKIND.Not only they blocked his Hey Jude (otherwise there wouldn't be a problem) but THEY BLOCKED ALL HIS SONGS AND HIS PERSON TOO!!!..Did you understand? Did you at last understand?It is needed that YOU PROTEST AGAINST THIS NAZI FACT. YOUR COOPERATION IS NEEDED.Respectfully....our dear friend and reader.THE NEWS MEDIA.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Without serpent or guile

Date: Weds 2 March 2005 23: 26: 58 1300 (NZDT)
Subject: A Token Poem?

Dear Scott,

I was a Marxist as a very young man - given that my father had been a Wobbly, as so many seagulls had been, it might almost have been considered an act of rebellion. One day late in the war (it was a hot day, even for Fiji, so I was sheltering in the storeroom, guarding our provisions) I was reading Lenin's Imperialism, reading about the South Sea colonies, when the thought suddenly occured: this bloke doesn't know what he's talking about. How about a token poem?

Yours in earnest,
Ken Smithyman


Adam and eve, without serpent
or guile, all night the river duetto,
voices that were steps and stairs.
Those smallest rapids in the gorge
spelled out sleep for jittery timbers,
lulling coves and sandbars.
Sang, right through the night, just loud
enough to tell they kept their distance
from your doorstep which was
a pair of honeysuckle trees,
Adam and eve left and right by the path
which you took, to rinse a bucket of washing,
where we lifted any bucket of water.
We drank the last light.

And sank the last of the whiskey,
letting the fire go blank.
Indefinite as smoke upstream,
a stag roared. Nightfall,
a truckload of kids cruised the road
spotted for possums with a .22,
maybe to tickle trout.

We also, we were illicit, apart from
our eiron's habitual domain,
vulnerable. Whatever anyone means by
life is not in our hands. You are lived
by. Most of twenty-four hours
of each/any/every day,
when the little faithful pills work
as quietly as the sisters
at the hospital at Master Misericordiae
where they shot you full of gold
salts, copepr salts, salts of tears
not without failing.
How, elementary, is your will free?

The malformed path ended at
those honeysuckle trees, rewarewa.
The river's name rightly is Waiata.
Vulnerable, we could not
distinguish good from evil. Our
sin was original. It was content.

Kendrick Smithyman, 1974